As I have aged, the importance of goal-setting has crystallized. Yet, a myriad of conflicting opinions on this subject still remains. Should our goals be ambitious or realistic ? Should we even set goals or live spontaneously and enjoy the moment?

This article delves into these questions, aiming to untangle the complexities surrounding goal-setting. By examining various questions like the merits of both ambitious and realistic goals, we’ll bring more clarity to setting goals that align with your unique aspirations.

Below are answers to 19 questions about setting goals in different categories:

Clarity and Purpose

1)  What do I truly want and why?

Finding the What you truly want
Knowing your true desires is crucial—it shapes your boundaries and keeps you from being swayed by others. Without this knowledge, there’s a risk of living by someone else’s rules.

How to find them? Here are two ways:

A) Inversion: Our brains focus on negatives for survival, but this can help in clarifying what we want. Start by pinpointing what you dislike:

• Rude people?
• Boring jobs?
• Overbearing bosses?
• Noisy, cramped living spaces?

Now, flip these:

• Seek kind, understanding people.
• Find a job that values creativity.
• Aim to be your own boss.
• Dream of a spacious, peaceful home.

Example: If you dislike your sedentary job, the inversion would be to seek a profession that keeps you physically active.

B) Diverse Perspectives: Another beneficial strategy for discovering your genuine desires is to broaden your perspective through diverse means, such as engaging in literature, cinema, and exploring locations aligned with your interests. Exposure to a spectrum of information refines your preferences that genuinely resonate with you.

Example: Reading novels about different cultures, watching documentaries on wildlife conservation, and exploring vibrant markets in foreign cities can open your mind to new possibilities, helping you discover goals that align with your passion for cultural diversity and environmental sustainability.

Finding the why
Uncovering the reasons behind these desires reveals their connection to fundamental human needs:

1. Desires for connections with people stem from the need for love and connection.
2. Job-related aspirations are rooted in the essential need for survival, as jobs provide sustenance and shelter.
3. Preferences related to housing directly tie back to the fundamental need for survival.

Example: Aspiring for meaningful connections aligns with the fundamental human need for love and social connection.

2) What values do I want to align my goals with?

Aligning goals with values—universal (e.g., honesty, love, respect, service), societal (e.g., individualism, religious values), and personal (e.g., creativity, fitness) ensures they resonate deeply with you.

If you value quiet time and contemplation, a goal that requires lots of interaction in the world may not be suitable for you

If you value creativity, goals related to artistic expression or problem-solving might be fulfilling. 

Example: If you value independence, aligning your goal with entrepreneurial pursuits may resonate deeply with your values.

3) Is this goal ambitious enough to motivate me?

It is often said reaching big goals is not harder than reaching small goals. While this has truth in it if  the goal you select is so far your brain would not believe in it.

Do you feel excited when you think of your goal? If not, either it is not for you or not big enough.
It is more practical to set the achievable goals that are still exciting. Then you can set a bigger goal again. 

Strive for goals that excite you but also feel attainable with focused effort. This balance fuels motivation without overwhelming you.

Example: If you are making 40K a year, setting a goal like becoming a billionaire in the next 12 months is very ambitious and very low probability. Such unrealistic goals often trigger self-doubt, hindering motivation. Instead, setting a goal of making 150K the first year and then increasing the goal again can be a better approach.

4) Is this goal specific enough to be clearly defined and actionable?

To clearly define a goal, outline the desired outcomes, measurable deadlines, and concrete actions steps needed to reach that goal.

Example)  I want to lose weight or I want to have more money is not enough. If you say I want to lose 10 pounds by the end of 6 months; for this I will exercise 30 minutes every day and reduce my daily calorie intake to 2000. That is more actionable and motivating.

5) Does this goal fit into my life priorities and circumstances?

Our goals change through life as we evolve and our environments change.
A goal we desired in an earlier stage of life may not be suitable for our current circumstances

When juggling multiple goals, consider their relative importance and potential conflicts to ensure alignment with your life priorities.
Will working towards and reaching the goal enhance your overall well-being? 
Is it practical to integrate the goal into existing routines and responsibilities?

Example) your goal may be  to get an advanced degree in your profession, but that would require studying 3 hours at night after work and paying a substantial tuition fee while the outcome is not guaranteed. Can you reduce the time you spend with your family? Can you pay the tuition fee? It all depends on your circumstances.

Now, take a moment to reflect on your own goals using these questions as a guide. Empower yourself to create a life that aligns with your values, fuels your ambition, and leads to fulfilling achievements!

Apollo 11
In the midst of Cold War tensions, President Kennedy boldly aspired to “land a man on the moon and return him safely to Earth“ by the end of the decade. Driven by unparalleled scientific cooperation and unwavering engineering efforts, Neil Armstrong’s historic “giant leap for mankind” in 1969 became a defining moment that permanently transformed our comprehension of space and human capabilities.

Feasibility and Planning

6) Is this goal realistic and achievable given my resources and timeline?

Start setting realistic goals that align with your current skill set and time constraints.
This is a more sustainable approach for long term results.

As you start getting results, you can gain more skills and leverage to do more in the same duration but starting with your current skill set is practical.

St Francis de Assisi said “ Start by doing what  is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible”

For instance, instead of aiming to write a novel in a month, start with a goal of writing 500 words per week, gradually increasing as you gain momentum

7) What obstacles might I encounter, and how can I overcome them?

One of the easiest ways to reach your goals is to find the obstacles on your way and devise ways to overcome them.

First break your bigger goal into manageable steps. Then for each step think of what is preventing you from accomplishing that step. For each of these obstacles, find ways to overcome it.  

Do you lack a necessary skill? Consider online courses, mentorship, or outsourcing. Need funding? Explore grant opportunities, crowdfunding, or strategic partnerships.

If you miss resources, where can you find them ? 

For example) Facing a lack of financial resources to pursue an advanced degree, one can overcome this obstacle by exploring scholarship opportunities, part-time work, or creating a budget plan.

8) What smaller steps can I break down my goal into?

Identify the logical sequence of steps required to achieve your goal. Visualize it as a storyline, like planning a vacation where you first book tickets, then make reservations, and so on

You can break further each of these steps for further control.

Take a moment to break down one of your personal goals into actionable steps.

Example: Breaking down the goal of achieving a master’s degree could involve steps like researching suitable universities, preparing application materials, enrolling in relevant courses, completing assignments, and successfully defending a thesis.

9) What resources do I need to achieve this goal?

1. Secure the resources essential for goal achievement, including skills, knowledge, finances, time, and support networks.
2. Assess the skills required for the task and start learning or sharpening them.
3. Evaluate the financial investments that you need and devise a budget plan.
4. Find out who can help you through consultation or mentoring or by books or courses.
5. Decide how much time you can commit working on your goal and make sure it aligns with your schedule. 

By comprehensively understanding and acquiring the essential resources, you fortify your ability to navigate challenges and increase the probability of successfully realizing your goal. 

Whether learning a programming language or starting a business, assess required skills, budget for financial needs, seek mentorship or training, and schedule dedicated time.

Example: Pursuing a goal of starting a small business may require resources such as capital for initial investment, knowledge in entrepreneurship through courses or mentorship, a supportive network of experienced entrepreneurs, and access to relevant market research.

10) How can I increase my resources?
The more resources you have the easier to attain your goal.
Resources are everywhere around you. 

Creatively leverage resources to multiply your capabilities. Outsource tasks to free up time, tap into others’ networks for support, learn from both successes and failures, and explore funding options like grants or crowdfunding.

Other people’s money, other people’s networks, successful people’s ideas, lessons learned from your failures and other people’s failures can all be used as resources.

Example: If the goal is to learn a new language, increasing resources can involve joining language exchange programs, utilizing language learning apps, enrolling in online courses, seeking guidance from language tutors, and engaging with native speakers through language meet-up events.

11) What accountability measures can I set to stay on track?

Reaching long term goals requires sustained energy and a positive mindset.
Having a person whom we are accountable to helps a lot. This is because whatever is watched, focused and measured improves.

1. Regular Check-ins: Schedule periodic reviews to assess your progress. Reflect on achievements, challenges, and adjustments needed.
2. Accountability Partner: Enlist a trusted friend, mentor, or family member. Share your goals and establish a system for regular check-ins.
3. Visual Progress Tracking: Use visual tools like charts or graphs to track your journey. Seeing your progress can reinforce commitment.
4. Set Milestones: Break down long-term goals into smaller milestones. Celebrate achievements at each milestone, maintaining motivation.
5. Reward System: Establish a reward system tied to milestones. Treat yourself when you reach significant checkpoints to reinforce positive behavior.
6. Professional Coaching: Consider hiring a coach who specializes in your goal area. Professional guidance can enhance accountability and provide valuable insights.
   

Take a moment to identify an accountability partner or consider seeking professional guidance for your goal.

Wright Brothers
Undeterred by skepticism, the Wright brothers relentlessly researched and experimented, culminating in the audacious goal of powered flight. Their 12-second triumph at Kitty Hawk in 1903 ignited an aviation revolution, forever altering how we explore the world above.

Motivation and Persistence

12) What intrinsic and extrinsic motivators can I identify for this goal?

Extrinsic motivators may be like a more comfortable environment, financial gain, recognition but the most powerful motivators come from inside. These are desires like financial independence, impacting other people’s lives in a positive way, or the joy of learning or gaining character traits like persistence, positive mindset, creativity. 

Using both motivators is a good approach to have sustainable effort toward your goal.

List a few intrinsic and extrinsic motivators that personally resonate with your goal.

Example: Intrinsic motivators for completing a fitness goal might include the joy of improved health and personal growth, while extrinsic motivators could involve receiving recognition or rewards for achieving specific milestones.

13) How can I celebrate my progress along the way?

Regularly acknowledge milestones, both large and small, to maintain momentum and motivation Small celebrations, such as treating yourself to a favorite meal or taking a day off, provide positive reinforcement. 

Additionally, create a visual representation of your achievements, like a progress chart or checklist, to track your journey. Regularly reflecting on and celebrating progress reinforces a positive mindset, making the pursuit of your goal more enjoyable and enhancing the likelihood of continued success.

14) What will I do when I face setbacks and doubts?

Setbacks and doubts are an inevitable part of any goal pursuit.

Every setback has a lesson that you can learn from and grow if you take it with a positive mindset.
Anticipate potential setbacks and develop proactive coping strategies for doubts.

When you have an obstacle or doubt, first gather all the facts (not opinions) as much as you can about the obstacle you are facing. Most of the time solutions become obvious when we have enough facts.
Gather facts, evaluate resources, and make informed decisions about pivoting or persevering.

When we start some new activity it is normal to have doubts. But it is only by doing it continuously that we gain confidence – like you don’t have any doubts if you can tie your shoes because you did it thousands of times.

Additionally, consider self-care practices (meditation, mindfulness, exercise), journaling, or seeking support from mentors or peers, to manage stress and improve your resiliency.

Reframe setbacks as learning opportunities and embrace challenges as catalysts for growth and resilience.

Example: When my coding project crashed and I doubted my skills, I took a deep breath, researched similar errors, and reached out to a mentor for a fresh perspective, reigniting my confidence and fueling my problem-solving spirit.

15) How can I adjust my plan or goal if needed based on new information?

Because of the dynamic nature of life, the conditions toward your goal will probably change along the way.  Some of the changes may be beneficial , some challenging like unforeseen obstacles, resource limitations, shifting market trends.

Like an airplane pilot who constantly adjusts the direction of the plane towards the destination by getting around obstacles like storms or strong winds you will need to adjust your direction to navigate to your goal.
Remember, flexibility is key in goal pursuit – just like pilots adapt to weather changes, we need to adapt to life’s unexpected turns.

Stay vigilant for changing circumstances or unexpected opportunities that may impact your original goal. If a more efficient path emerges or priorities shift, don’t hesitate to modify your strategy. Seek feedback from mentors or peers, valuing external perspectives.

Flexibility is crucial in goal pursuit, enabling regular assessments and adjustments. Embrace a growth mindset, seeing adaptations as part of the learning journey. Stay adaptable for success by aligning goals with changing circumstances and don’t hesitate to modify your strategy.

Example: If you’re working towards a writing goal and receive feedback suggesting a change in your approach, you can adjust your plan by revising your outline or exploring alternative writing styles.

Reflection and Growth

16) What skills and strengths can I develop through this goal?

When you set your sights on something big, you open up a chance to become a better you. You pick up new skills and also improve your existing skills. 

For instance, aiming to become a proficient web developer may cultivate technical expertise in coding and programming languages. Simultaneously, the goal improves problem-solving abilities and resilience, essential qualities in navigating challenges.

Beyond this specific goal, you will gain transferable skills such as time management, adaptability, and effective communication. Knowing your strengths and using them well doesn’t just get you to the finish line, it makes you stronger and better along the way.

Example: Taking up photography as a goal can not only improve your creative skills but also enhance patience, attention to detail, and the ability to find beauty in everyday moments.

17) What lessons can I learn from any challenges encountered?

Challenges are not fun but they help us to grow. We can turn challenges into advantages by extracting the lessons from them.  Going through the challenge increases our resilience, discipline, determination and problem solving abilities. We may learn about better time management, specific know-how knowledge, and gain more wisdom.

What specific challenges have you faced, and what did you learn from overcoming them?

Example) Facing a project deadline delay taught me the importance of effective time management and contingency planning for unforeseen obstacles.

18) How will achieving this goal contribute to my personal growth and goals?

Pursuing your goal also causes a personal transformation where you cultivate resilience, determination, and adaptability, increase creativity, improve communication, and enhance leadership skills. Your sense of self-efficacy and confidence also increases , positively impacting overall well-being. 

Imagine the boost you’ll feel when you finally achieve your goal – that confidence can spill over into other areas of your life.

Example) Becoming fluent in a new language not only expanded my cultural understanding but also sharpened my cognitive abilities and communication skills, contributing significantly to my overall personal development.

19) How can I use this experience to set even more ambitious goals in the future?

The experience you gained while you worked towards attainment of the goal teaches you valuable lessons that you can use in a more ambitious next goal. Think of it as a prerequisite lesson you need before you take the more ambitious goal class.
No one is born as a successful entrepreneur or expert. Entrepreneurs generally succeed after failing many times, each failure teaching them what not to do. 

Identify the lessons you learned and use them to brainstorm even more ambitious goals for the future – the sky’s the limit!.
Additionally you can learn about how to set SMART system to achieve your goals.

Example) Their bankrupt startup, amidst shattered dreams, unearthed a hidden expertise, propelling them towards a niche market and a second chance at success.

Final Thoughts

In essence, setting and achieving goals is a personal and evolving journey. Each accomplishment, as countless successful individuals from athletes to artists have shown, becomes a stepping stone for greater aspirations. Just like Roger Bannister’s groundbreaking sub-4-minute mile shattered preconceived limitations, reaching our (ethical) goals not only empowers us but also contributes to the overall human evolution by demonstrating the possible. By embracing the principles outlined in this article, you can embark on your own goal-setting odyssey, one that leaves a positive mark on the world, starting with yourself. 

Resources

SETTING GOALS THAT MATTER Ted Talk by Samantha Kris